On Parenting....I iz an exxpert.

I re read my first post this morning, and realized that I had mentioned "parenting" and "parenting tips" as things you will not find here. Was that merely a mistake, or was it some type of froydian slip? Well, seeing as how I mentioned it twice, and told you I wasn't going to discuss it, I'm going to talk about it anywayzzzz. You will also find az you reeed my shtuff, that I enjoy missspelling wurds as much as possibull. I iz a good exampl for my offsprouts.

I have 3 wonderful, perfect, adorable children. They are the joy of my life, and all the money they earn from their tedious dead end teenage jobs goes into an account to take care of me in my old age. Of course, producing Stepford children is not an easy task. It involves years of indoctrination, repetition, sleep depravation, and medication therapy (For them and for me).

It appears that my middle son needs an increased dose, because after reading this, he just asked me if I'm on crack,..or meth,... or speed. Why of course not son, I just had my favorite dinner: Two vicadin and a bottle of wine.

I was always the Kool-Aid mom in the neighborhood. A little vodka never hurt anyone, right? All the other moms were so impressed. "How do you do it? Little Johnny always takes a good long nap when he gets home from your house."

And of course, nutrition was always important. I wanted the kids to have free choice, so as long as all four food groups were represented (candy, sugar, pizza and meat) I let them eat whatever they wanted.


The rest is kind of a blur, me being comatose or just not caring the rest of the time.


Here's a few recent popular search topics to generate a little traffic from the search engine gods:



Paris Hilton

Lyposuction

Appomatox Courthouse.

Please, will all 3 of you devoted readers leave a comment so I know someone is looking at this besides me? Sorry Lisa, after reading the transcripts from your last police interrogation, I decided it best for all involved to delete both of you from the pfan list. However, if you buy all the drinks next time, I might just change my mind.

Until next time,

WG-Still wondering about the name, aren't you????